The Dysfuntional Jackson Family
by ksoccer16
Summary: Meet the dysfunctional family of Percy and Annabeth Jackson...with a few addictions to the original Percabeth couple- their children!
1. Meet the Dysfunctionals

**A/N: Hi guys! I've been thinking about making this story for a while now because there are many so-called "Mary-Sues". I don't think that they really are, but my goal is to make a story that no one accuses me of making a Mary-sue**

**And now for some serious matters:**

**I do not own Percy Jackson**

**Check out my pole**

**Check out my other stories**

**I need help figuring out if I should continue Percy Jackson's Best Moments. My reason for possibly not continuing is in the A/N of Hey There Annabeth.**

**Thanks guys! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Percy's POV:**

I love my kids - all of them – but sometimes they can be handful.

Take the other day at dinner for an example.

Our oldest daughter, Halley, was late coming home. She has a real good heart, but I think she made a few too many visits to CampHalf-Blood. She hung around the Hermes cabin like a shadow and practically adopted the Stolls as her uncles and picked up a few bad habits from them.

Yes, that's right; our fifteen year old daughter has become a kleptomaniac.

She and "Uncle Travis and Uncle Conner" were at Camp. She claims that she was just going sparring with Hermes Cabin, but I know that the Stolls had a cabin raid planned for this evening and they wanted her to be their accomplice.

She can be a bit difficult by herself, but she's not our only child.

"Mommy, my peas are touching my mashed potatoes which are touching my steak which is touching my bread. I can't eat my food like this!" eleven year old Carter said. She closed her eyes and her mouth began moving as she counted to four ten times. She's OCD and that always calms her down. Annabeth rushes over to fix her plate while I finish Kimberly's dinner of a grilled cheese sandwich and chicken noodle soup.

Kimberly is thirteen and a very picky eater. She doesn't eat a lot of meats. People are always like, "Oh is she a vegetarian?" Not exactly. She doesn't like many fruits or vegetables. One thing if is for sure though; put a large greasy pizza in front of her and it will be gone in .03 seconds.

"Hi guys, I'm home!" Halley yells as she puts her school bag down at her chair in the kitchen.

Then the twins, Ryan and Riley, come in. The boys are nine and highly ADHD. 'Highly' like, they need to move more than Leo does. If you don't think that's bad then you obviously haven't met Leo.

The boys have their toy swords in their hands and were stabbing each other with them. Carter had moved to the front of the house to make sure all the front windows and blinds are closed. That's what she does when the counting doesn't work. After she finished the front she moved to the back. I knew from experience that after that she will check all the side windows and then check all of the upstairs ones.

Seven-year-old dyslexic Gabby was doing her homework at the kitchen table. Well, I say she was doing her homework, but mostly she was just scowling at the paper. After Annabeth finished with Carter's plate she moves on to help Gabby.

Halley begins talking to us about all the great new make-up stole - I mean, found. She then proceeds to show us all the things she talking about. I don't know how girls can turn a bottle of goop into long eyelashes or match all of those bright colors to make them look good, but that's why I'm not a girl.

I set down Kimberly's food and go to the bottom of the stairs to call down Michael and Harper, our oldest and youngest. Michael is sixteen and Harper is five.

Michael slums down the stairs (you know, the way teenagers do when they've had a "hard day") with Harper bouncing down behind him.

Michael grabs a plate for each of them and puts food on them and hands one to Harper.

See, Michael and Harper have this weird relationship. They're pretty much best friends. I think it's because Harper is so young and easy to talk to and a great listener who will keep all of his secrets while Michael has plenty to tell her. He's always babying her like she was his own kid. But I'm not going to complain; it keeps Michaels from sulking around like the "depressed" teenager he is and the fact that he takes care of Harper means that I have one less child to take care of. I grab Ryan to pull him away from Riley but he squirms out of my grasp and heads straight back to him. Halley catches him and tickles him to distract him from Riley. I take Riley and coax him into sitting down. He won't stop squirming in his chair but I figure that it's the best I'm going to get. Halley gets Ryan to sit down.

Carter comes back in and Annabeth calms her down after she finished helping Gabby. Gabby grabs some food and sits down. Annabeth gets Carter to sit.

Then Annabeth and I sit down. We get to eat. _Finally_.

"Dad. I don't like the chicken in my soup"

Or maybe one of these days we will.


	2. McDonalds

**A/N: AWWWWWW you guys are so nice! So some virtual blue cookies for my lovely peeps!**

**(::)-this one is for ****bsoccer18****. And thank you. I am jealous of me too…not. I also know where you live…the bed next to mine. My butthead of a lil' sis.**

**(::)-this one is for ****Percabeth the Potterjay****. I see where you are coming from; they have been busy! And I realize that eight is a lot, but I'm hoping that after a few chapters you guys will start to remember all of my percabeth babies! Just like after the Lightning Thief I could name all twelve Olympian gods for you, and now I can name tons more gods and A LOT of characters.**

**(::)-this is for ****LUVPeanutButter****. Yup. Pretty much. I just hope that after a few chapter you guys will start to keep track of all of them. I hope so, cuz they are my babies! I love each and every Percabeth kid.**

**Love you guys!**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson, McDonalds, and Wendy's are not mine.**

**Nico's POV:**

When Percy and Annabeth asked me to babysit their kids, they didn't tell me how insanely hectic it can get. Especially when stuck in a small enclosed space. Like, for example, a car.

I was driving Annabeth's soccer-mom-minivan because there is no way in Hades that eight kids are going to fit in my little car.

Michael was sitting next to me in the passenger seat, scowling. He reminded me of…well, me, so much that it was kind of creepy. And I'm the son of Hades; I don't get uncomfortable that easily.

Except for thinking about the fact that Percy and Annabeth must have been PRETTY busy to end up with eight kids. That pretty much scarred me for forever.

"You do realize that this could take hours, right?" Michael told me. I was planning on taking the Jackson kids to McDonalds (my favorite fast food joint) and Michael was totally against the idea. I didn't think it could be _that_ bad that Michael would never want to experience it again. Right?

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure it was your father who took you before. I'm _much_ more mature than he is. I can handle it."

"Okay," he said doubtfully.

I pulled up to the drive-thru window.

"_Welcome to McDonalds. How may I help you?_" said a voice through the speaker.

I leaned out the car window. "I would like a bacon cheeseburger, French fries, and a large coke." I turned to Michael.

"I want an orange soda and a Big Mac," he tells me.

I relayed the message to the employee. That's when all Hades breaks loose.

I supposed Ryan and Riley got tired of sitting still and began bouncing in their seats screaming for milkshakes. I pressed my fingers to my temples to try and relieve myself of the oncoming headache. I told the employee that I want two chocolate milkshakes.

Harper leaned foreword and looked at Michael as if telepathically transmitting a message. Michaels turned to me and said "Harper wants a vanilla milkshake and a cheeseburger."

I raised my eyebrow and turn to the speaker to tell the employee.

"_So three milkshakes, sir?_" the voice responded.

"Yes," I told it.

Then Gabby smiled her toothless grin at me. "I want a Frosty!"

I sighed and tried to explain, "Gab, you can only get a frosty at Wendy's. We are at McDonalds."

"But I want a FROSTY!" she screeched at me.

Kimberly chose this moment to pipe up. "I don't like McDonalds," she whined.

"I want chicken nuggets!" Riley and Ryan shouted, suddenly in my ear.

"Do they have a salad?" Halley asked. "Everything else here is so bad for you. I also want a Coke."

I rolled my eyes and told the employee their orders. Then I asked," Is there any chance I can have a cheeseburger without the burger?" I figured that's the only thing I could find for Kimberly.

"_A cheeseburger without the burger?_" he asked to confirm.

"Yes."

I turned to Carter, who'd been quiet this whole time. Her eyebrows were squished together and she had her eyes closed as if in deep concentration. Her mouth was moving, but she wasn't saying anything.

"You okay Carter?" I asked her.

Gabby answered for her. "She's not. This is what she does when she stressed. And are you going to get me a Frosty or what?"

"Gabby," I sighed. "What is the difference between a milkshake here and a Frosty at Wendy's?"

She sighed back at me and says, "Duh. One is a milkshake and one is a Frosty."

I mentally face palmed.

"Fine," I relented. "We will stop at Wendy's afterwards to get a Frosty."

She bounced in her seat and claped her hands excitedly.

I looked back to Michael. "What would Carter get?"

He furrowed his brows. "Uh, I think she likes Orange soda and chicken nuggets with French Fries."

"You'd better be right," I told him. "I don't want to deal with one of her panic attacks.

He shrugged, which did not make me feel any better.

I told the employee Carter's order and when I told him that's all we want I think he I heard him sigh from relief. Baby. He was on the easy side of it; he didn't even have to deal with the kids himself.

We finally got our food and pulled up to Wendy's and got the chicken nuggets and fries and Frosty for Gabby uneventfully.

I pull the minivan up to my apartment and load the kids inside, trying got keep the noise level down so my neighbors don't complain…again.

We all sat down and started eating peacefully.

The twins were screaming at Halley as they figured out she had their toys had been stolen from them.

Gabby looks up at me, her face representing that of an angel's. But we all know children can look like that when they are their guiltiest.

She says, "Uncle Nico. I don't want a Frosty anymore. I want a milkshake."

Oh. My. Gods. I gave up. Percy and Annabeth could take their kids back. I didn't even care about being paid anymore.


	3. Breakfast Mayhem (and a surprise)

**A/N: Hi guys! Thank you all for being so nice to me! You all have been so supportive! Here comes the cookie train!**

**(::) ****bsoccer18****- Why yes! I am Kimberly! Aren't you a smart cookie? Get it? Cookie? *cricket*…cookie?**

**(::) ****cjones1322****- Thank you! That makes me feel so good!**

**(::) ****WisegirlAnnabethChase****- Yeah…I love Nico though**

**(::) ****Leoiscool****- Well thanks!**

**(::) ****Guest****: I'll try, but if you read Hey Annabeth, it has an explanation for why it's taking me awhile, if you want to go check it out.**

**You guys are the best!**

**Disclaimer: Is this really necessary? I mean, this is FANFICTION! Hello, we are obviously not the author. Duh.**

**Oh, and a warning: don't judge the fifteen-year old Halley for calling Annabeth 'Mamma'; I'm fifteen and call my mom 'Mamma' in public all the time.**

**Annabeth's POV:**

"Mom! Halley stole my mascara!" Kimberly shouts from her bedroom as she rummages through some box.

I froze. "Since when have you been wearing make-up?"

"Since I entered the seventh grade. Come on Mom, I was the only sixth grader not wearing make-up. I had to start some time."

"You're only thirteen!" I exclaimed.

"I'll be fourteen next month," she informed me.

"Don't remind me," I sighed while walking away rubbing my temples.

I found Halley in the bathroom hogging the space in front of the mirror as she ran a hair straightener through her thick black curls.

"Halley, did you take your sister's mascara?"

She didn't turn her attention away from her hair as she said: "Which one?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that there were two of you wearing make-up before today, and now you're telling me there's another?"

"Gods Mamma, I'm kidding," she laughs.

"Not funny. Now did you or did you not?"

She rolls her eyes at me in the mirror. "Of course I did. It was just _sitting_ there in her make-up box on her desk. What was I supposed to do? Leave it?"

"Yeah, you should have left it. And she has a make-up box! Where does she even get these things from?"

"I gave them to her the last time the Stolls and I raided – I mean visited – the Aphrodite cabin."

"Um, why did the Stolls raid the Aphrodite cabin? What did they want, perfume?" I snorted.

"They said they were low on cologne," she answered seriously.

"Okay, well just make sure that you give Kimberly her mascara back. Or, you could…_accidentally_, drop it down the garbage disposal. I mean, an accident is an accidental. You can't cry over spilt milk.

She winked at me. "I've got you Mamma."

I turned my attention to Riley and Ryan who were attempting to compete with Halley for space at the counter.

"What are you two doing in her? You and Michael have your own bathroom in your room. I don't even know why Halley isn't using hers."

"I sprayed too much perfume in there, so I'm trying to not die from the toxic gas," Halley explains.

Ryan and Riley pouted. "We like this bathroom better."

I stared at them.

"This one has cool fish pictures in it. Ours has dinosaurs."

"But you love dinosaurs!"

"We loved dinosaurs last week."

"Oh my gods. You guys are worse than…well, the gods."

Thunder rumbled in the distance. I flipped the bird to the ceiling as I walked away from the bathroom, thankful that the boys had turned their attention back to their fight for the sink.

I heard laughter from my left and turned to see Percy watching me as he helped pick out clothing for Harper.

I maturely stuck my tongue out at him and walked into the bedroom he was in; the one that Harper and Gabby shared.

I found Gabby on her bed trying to run a brush through her bushy blonde hair. I attempted to help her (the pain of curly hair) and wrestled it into a braid.

Gabby frowned at Harper's sleek black hair.

"I want hair like that," Gabby whined and slumped out of the room and down to the kitchen.

Percy stroke a ridiculous pose, imitating a model, wiggled his eyebrows, and said to me: "You're jealous of my hair, aren't you?"

I snorted and pushed him out of my way. "In your dreams, Seaweed Brain"

Halley walked past me with Carter in tow to help her pack her schoolbag.

I peeked into Michael's bedroom to check on him. I saw him in his bathroom running gel through his hair to tame his mass of dark curls. He kind of looked like Chase from that old TV show, Zoey 101.

I walked downstairs to make breakfast. I put on a kettle of hot water and got out the packets of oatmeal.

A bagel pops up and Halley grabs it and put cream cheese on it.

"Carter's in the living room – she needs you- and I'm going next door. Cassandra is giving Shawn and me a ride to school."

Halley walks out of the house, bagel in hand, and over to Clarisse and Chris's house.

I don't know what happened to my baby girl. She was once a sweet little girl and now she's a klepto dating Clarisse and Chris's son, Shawn. (Cue enraged cry/ fangirl screech)

I know, tell me about it.

On top of it all, she's decided to become close friends with Cassandra, their 18-year-old daughter.

I swear, she does it just because she knows it will bother me. It's not like I went out _my_ mother's nemesis's child…oh wait…

Michael and Harper came down the stairs, followed by Percy and the twins.

I walk into the living room and found Carter checking the lock on the back door and windows. I settled onto the couch and began to organize her folders into alphabetical by subject that they're for, the way she likes, when the twins came rushing in the room, one's hair soaked and the other's mixed with random owl feather. I grabbed the two of them by their shirt as they run by.

"Do I even want to know what happened?" I ask.

They shook their heads earnestly. I shooed them back into the kitchen, put Carter's organized folders into her backpack, and follow the boys to the kitchen.

I took the kettle off the stove and poured the hot water into the bowls with oatmeal. Kimberly came down the stairs just as I placed the bowls at the table.

She furrowed her eyebrows and heavily dropped into her seat.

"What's the matter?" I sighed.

"I don't want oatmeal," she whined.

I frowned. "What's wrong with oatmeal? It tastes good and it's healthy for you."

"It tastes terrible!"

"Well you're eating it."

She pushed the bowl away from her. "I don't want it."

I pushed it back. "I don't care."

Her eyes started to tear up. "Why do I have to eat it?"

"It's what's for breakfast. That's why," I responded as I turned to hug Michael goodbye.

"Michael doesn't have to," she notes. "You let him have a granola bar."

"I'm the mom. You have to do what I say. That's my right, given to me when I was forced to carry you around inside of me for nine months. As soon as you carry a child around for nine months, you can do the same, but for right now it's my turn."

She pursed her lips and began to play with her food. I let it go and turned my attention to the twins.

I raised my eyebrow. "Where'd your food go?"

They wiggled in their seats a little bit. "We ate eat," Riley said.

Ryan nodded his head in agreement.

"I highly doubt that. Stand up"

As they got up I lifted the cushions on their chairs and found oatmeal shoved into napkins under there.

"Pick it up now, and then get ready for school."

I turned around and find the other kids nowhere to be found, their bowls all washed in the sink. I was positive that none of them ate. At that moment they all came rushing down the stairs with backpacks slung over their shoulders and out the door toward my car. I also noted that Percy had…conveniently left for work early enough that he wouldn't have to drive any of the kids to school besides Michael.

Yippee.

I dropped Kimberly and Carter off at their middle school and then headed over to Gabby, Ryan, Riley, and Harper's elementary school. I checked my watch. I was running late.

Just then I got a call.

"Hello?" I say as I answer the phone.

"_Hello, this is Goode high school's nurses office. Is this Mrs. Jackson?_"

"Uh, yeah," I said. "Is everything okay?"

"_Well Halley is running a slight fever, and we would like to know if you could pick her up."_

"σκατά. Fine, I'll be right over for her."

I sighed. Guess I'll be late…again.

**A/N: Yay! Longest chapter yet.**

**And how bout that pairing? I finally understand how Rick does what he does to us. Being the author of something gives you such a feeling of power! *begins a fist pump dance to Justin Bieber's 'That Power'***


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